Why Running Away from Emotion in the NOW Ultimately Backfires
Patricia and Robert van Kooten 
Do you know that feeling when you're really looking forward to seeing someone, and the moment that person is there, everything is timeless?
There's no room for anything else, but then suddenly, it's over again?
And time suddenly accelerates, bringing all the emotions that were simmering in the background—without you being aware of them—back like a boomerang.
Nothing serious, but still enough to pull you out of your NOW moment and make you want to avoid all the emotions that suddenly surface.
But what does the NOW want? Most of us will start doing all sorts of things to avoid and not feel these emotions. "Don't be so dramatic," we tell ourselves, "there are more important things than focusing on your emotions."
But what about this suppression? Emotions are more powerful than we sometimes realize.
They slowly pile up. And before you know it, you're restless, grumpy, irritated, and you wonder why you feel so empty and tired.
Let's talk about that.
The invisible power of suppressing emotions in the NOW moment.
Emotions are not always negative. They don't all have to be put on one big pile, and not every emotion needs attention in every moment.
But... some emotions have been suppressed so often that you are no longer conscious of them.
We call these: suppressed feelings that we can recognize in our actions:
- You scroll on social media for hours to avoid a quiet moment.
- You snap at a colleague over a small thing, while you're actually frustrated about something completely different.
- You lack the energy to start an important task because you're subconsciously struggling with an unresolved feeling.
- You grab a bag of chips or an extra glass of wine to numb an uncomfortable feeling.
- Your schedule is completely full so you never have to be alone with your own thoughts.
As you can see, these suppressed feelings can all accumulate to cause bigger emotional problems. Due to the build-up in all these areas, a small trigger that is about something minor can lead to a big emotional outburst that has been waiting for a long time to explode, or you can suddenly get strange physical complaints.
Why we keep suppressing our emotions (and why it doesn't work)
Most of us grew up with the idea that we just have to keep going. We shouldn't focus on emotions. Don't cry, but quickly grab something as a distraction; crying is showing vulnerability, and that's not safe.
And of course, we can't pay attention to what's happening inside us every single moment.
But emotions don't just disappear. They get stuck.
You can notice this, for example, through:
- Getting irritated more and more often over nothing.
- Procrastinating more and more without a reason.
- Eating snacks more often and not being happy about it, but not knowing how to stop.
- Sleeping more restlessly and getting unexplained physical complaints.
And this is exactly why we can stay stuck for so long—because they are just "minor complaints." We accept them and get more and more used to our "new normal."
What is the solution? It's easier than you think.
Here's a completely out-of-the-box idea: You don't have to do anything other than consciously pause. You don't have to wait until the bomb explodes before you deal with your emotions differently. No matter how deeply you've suppressed your emotions, they are really still there!
You can start now by becoming aware of which emotions you are suppressing in your immediate consciousness. Step by step.
And that's where turning your attention inward comes in. Paying attention to yourself and to what has been ignored for so long.
And this is where meditation comes in.
Not as deep therapy, but as a moment of stillness. To quiet the outside world in order to get to know your inside world.
A First Reset (Try this now)
Let's do something together. It doesn't matter if you're reading this at your desk or in the restroom. Just give it a try.
- Place your feet on the ground.
- Let your hands rest on your lap.
- Close your eyes.
- Breathe deeply in through your nose, counting to 4.
- Hold for a count of 4.
- And slowly breathe out again, counting to 6.
- Repeat this 3 times.
Everything that comes up is allowed to be there. We don't push anything away, and we don't judge anything. We just observe what comes up.
By simply doing this small exercise right now, you get a first glimpse into how you are doing. A good start!
Where Meditation Fits into the Bigger Picture
Think of meditation as decluttering for your mind. You don't "turn off" your thoughts; you give them a peaceful place to land. It's the mental equivalent of walking into a tidy room after a long day.
And yes, it's easy to dismiss it at first:
- "I'm too busy."
- "I can't sit still."
- "My brain never stops chattering."
Exactly. That's why meditation works. It teaches your brain to slow down just enough so you can breathe again. The key isn't perfection—it's consistency. That's why I created a course that fits into real life, not an idealized one.
Need a Little Structure and Support?
If you've read this far, I'm guessing you're someone who holds on to a lot—responsibilities, emotions, mental tabs—and rarely lets anything go.
The 'Living in the NOW' course is designed specifically for people like you.
No nonsense. No spiritual jargon. Just guided meditations, practical tools, and a printable workbook to help you slow down and feel like yourself again. It's gentle, practical, and you can start today.
And What's Next?
This is a first step toward creating space for yourself. Your emotions are a part of you; they are the representatives of your feelings and the messengers of your heart.
By acknowledging the emotions within you, you create space to get to know yourself again on a deeper level. From your heart. Nothing more.
Next time: The Surprising Link Between Acknowledging Your Feelings and Your NOW Moment
In the next post, we will delve deeper into how strong the connection between our feelings and our NOW moment actually is. We will discuss:
- What the NOW truly means.
- What the NOW and our heart have in common.
- How we can better connect with the NOW.
Get comfortable and read it here: The Surprising Link Between Acknowledging Your Feelings and Your NOW Moment
Categories: : NOW
